BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO MYSELF

OK. The time has come for me to show you my other birthday present to myself.

I have bought myself a new blog. It's been something I've been thinking about for a long time and the time has now come for my little bloglet to grow up a bit.

The blog that I started has been a wonderfully cathartic thing for me. I have made new friends and found a way to turn what was a very traumatic experience into something positive. I want to take that one step further now and move to the next stage of my development. I want to be able to turn all that negativity into something better. I want to be able to continue to write about my life with my children, but to be able to include other stuff as well. For friends to be able to write articles or post information. I want to be able to write about single parent holidays or divorce issues or raise money for something or write about other people raising money or whatever and for it all to be easier to find.

In a psychology book I was reading the other day about milestones in adult development it said:

"A recluse who spends his entire life alone in the same house in the same community, without working, marrying, traveling, or meeting new people is unlikely to change very much in adulthood. But most individuals in our society continue to pass developmental milestones. These can be seen as crises, but they can also be developmental opportunities.

The photo that I'm using to represent my family was taken in the Luangwa Valley when I was there this summer. It is a picture of a female elephant with her children. I love it because it says a lot about my life. The fact that it represents my family, the fact that I love elephants above all else, the fact that I love Africa, the fact that her children are walking away on their long slow path to independence and that she is just there watching and guiding and protecting, the fact that she has a huge arse...

Anyway, this is just to say that for some reason this all feels a little terrifying. It shouldn't be I suppose. Change is meant to be a good thing but I really don't want to lose all you lovely people out there.

So, as it's my birthday present, please come with me.

Here's the link:-

http://familyaffairsandothermatters.com

You will have to update your bookmarks and sign in again as a Google follower because it's a different URL address.

My huge thanks goes to Andy from Add Creative who must be the most patient man on the planet.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

I had the most lovely birthday. Thank you for all your messages. My friend took me out for a lovely lunch and in the evening I went out with my children and my brother and my sister in law.

Feeling very spoilt. My kids made a huge effort. Gave me some lovely presents and some handmade cards.

My youngest child's card was so sweet. It said:-

"Dear mum
Thank you for everything you have done for me and I hope this is the best day of your life so make it count. I know my presents aren't very good. I would of got you a really good present but I got something else. I'll get you a late present for you anyway oh and I forgot happy birthday.
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of love...

YOU + ME = LOVE

How sweet is that?

BRING SESAME STREET BACK

You see? We're missing out.

WORLD TRAVEL MARKET

There is a rare breed of people who are clearly stronger and fitter than the rest of us. This was what I decided must be the case as I lay in bed this morning trying very hard not to feel sick.

This group are known collectively as "people who attend the World Travel Market". I just don't know how they do it. They have to be there for four whole days talking, networking, schmoosing, buying, selling, connecting, doing deals, introducing, drinking, eating, talking more, laughing, drinking, vaguely getting some sleep and going back for more the next day.

I was there for a paltry two half days and I am nearly dead. Exhausted. I have almost lost my voice, I have a headache and my feet are about to fall off.

My problem is that I just don't know how to pace myself. It's a genetic fault. I peak way too soon. One minute I was marvelling at the Malaysia stand at Jimmy Choo becoming their new Ambassador and talking to my safari friends and the next minute it was very, very late and I was talking very loudly and probably incoherently to anyone and everyone at one of the evening parties and trying (clearly not very hard) to make myself go home.

As I lay in bed this morning, debating how on earth I was going to get through my day my youngest son burst in and sang "Happy Birthday" at the top of his voice and I thought "oh no it's my bloody birthday and I've got to do it all again". Then as I was trying hard to feel human he said "and the menu for this morning is a choice of scrambled egg, omelette with ham and cheese or a boiled egg with soldiers".

I came downstairs to find a table decorated for breakfast. A beautiful chocolate cake, presents, tea and my three lovely children.

How lucky am I.

My youngest had cake envy. He (obviously) made me a cake but the one on the table was made by my daughter. His is for tea apparently. He was a bit cross and couldn't resist saying "it's only Betty Crocker - get over it" when she looked really pleased with herself.

Anyway, the good news is that from now on I shall know better because yesterday I was an immature 44 year old. Today I am a very grown up - half way to 50 (holy shit) mature woman who will not peak too early ever again.

BIRTHDAYS AND DIVORCE

It's my birthday tomorrow (YAY) and this is the most grown-up I've ever been about my birthday in that I haven't gone into a huge decline about lack of partner = rubbish birthday presents. I have bought myself two presents on the basis that I am not expecting presents from anybody else - this divorce thing is a real bummer when it comes to gifts. Almost worse than any other aspect- it's very depressing not having anybody to drop major hints at for a whole year who then buys you something entirely different that you don't want and you can't quite believe that they can have got it SO WRONG.

I have learnt over the last few years that it is quite satisfactory to cut out the middle man and buy yourself something you really want. It leaves no room for disappointment.

This year I have bought myself two things.

The first is twenty two sets of football kit to be sent out to Lusaka via an airline pilot for the Bank of Zambia's two football teams and the other present I will show you tomorrow....

Off to teach now.

AFTERNOON TEA AT THE RITZ

I'm not sure what I was thinking, but in a moment of madness, about 6 months ago I booked a table to have tea at the Ritz for my daughter's birthday. I've always wanted to do that and it seemed like the perfect opportunity - in my head I had imagined that my Grandmother, my mother, my daughter and I could go together to celebrate not only my daughter's birthday but the fact that four generations of women in our family are still alive. However, in reality, my Grandmother is a bit too mad and my mother is a bit too busy looking after my father (who is back in hospital for the 5th time). Anyway, my Grandmother and my mother would have spent the entire time pointing out that the total cost of the tea was more than their respective first houses.

Instead, my daughter chose a friend and her mother to join us. We had a splendid time - drinking tea from fine bone china tea cups, eating cucumber sandwiches and scones with clotted cream and jam and then more sandwiches and little chocolate cakes and mille feuille (sp?) and macaroons until I blew up like that tick in the post I wrote yesterday and felt supremely sick.

The photos really didn't do the event justice. But look at those sandwiches! How beautifully cut are they? (and clearly gold-plated):-



Not that I needed any icing on the cake, but on our way home, whilst crossing the road THE QUEEN drove past us - we knew somebody was on the way, there were flashing lights and police on motorbikes, but we literally could have touched her. The girls were HUGELY excited.

The shame of it was that to top off what must have been two of the most well known British institutions, we managed to add a third.... my poor friend discovered that her wallet had been stolen on our journey in and somebody had already tried to use one of her cards.

MRS MONEYPENNY

Mrs Moneypenny I salute you.

She writes a regular column in The Financial Times Magazine. She's clearly a very clever business woman and in addition she has managed to find the time to become a qualified pilot. She is now planning to use her new found skill to fly to Newcastle to take her 20 year old son out for lunch for his birthday.

How cool is that?

Although I have to say her husband's response of "is that wise?" is merely a concern for having his entire family flying in a little Piper PA28 at the same time.

Maybe not wise, but I'm impressed and I'm quite sure her son will be too.